Trigger Warning: Self-Care

Why you shouldn’t ignore it (and what it really looks like in practice)

Self-care. There it is, the phrase that makes many leaders roll their eyes. It sounds soft. Indulgent. Something for people with too much time on their hands.

But here’s the truth: if you ignore it, you pay for it.

Not straight away. At first, pushing harder feels like the answer. You stay later, squeeze out another email at midnight, take on one more meeting. But slowly, the edge dulls. Your judgement slips. Patience wears thin. And the people around you get a leader who’s reactive, foggy, and stretched too far.

Stephen Covey had a phrase for this: sharpening the saw. Hack at the tree for hours without pause, and the saw goes blunt. Stop to sharpen, and the work takes half the time. In business, the saw is you. Looking after your energy isn’t indulgence — it’s leadership maintenance.

What self-care really means for leaders

Forget the Instagram version. This isn’t about scented candles or green juice, although a candle is always nice. It’s about knowing what actually helps you reset. Small, deliberate actions that keep you clear-headed enough to lead well.

Tip: Create a short reset list you can draw on when the pressure spikes. Keep it simple: 3–5 things you know work for you. For example:

• Step outside for five minutes of fresh air before your next call.

• Put your phone in a drawer and eat lunch without screens.

• Turn a 1:1 into a walking meeting.

• Block the first 20 minutes of the day for thinking, not emails.

• If you work from home, tidy your desk and office space. 

One of the leaders I work with, swears by folding laundry...  whatever works for you. 

You don’t need to do them all, and you don’t need to justify them to anyone else. The value is in having your own ready-made reset list so you can respond quickly when the pressure builds.

Talk about the storm, not just the tasks

Stress multiplies in silence. Strong leaders don’t carry it alone; they make it part of the team conversation. Share the bigger picture so the workload has context. Brainstorm openly, because even the “bad” ideas can spark better ones. Agree on how you’ll support each other when stress shows up.

Don’t underestimate the small lifts either. A shared lunch, a no-work catch-up, a genuine thank-you. These gestures remind people they’re valued beyond deadlines, and that can change how they weather the storm.

Presence Doesn’t Equal Performance

It’s dangerously easy to confuse time spent with value created. Many leaders still equate presence with performance… the full inbox, the long night at the desk. But hours logged don’t equal impact delivered.

Some of your clearest insights arrive mid-walk, in the shower, or after you’ve stepped away. Redefining productivity as contribution, not clock time, sets a healthier model for you and your team.

Stop apologising for looking after yourself

This one matters most. Leaders often carry guilt about stepping back, as though rest is selfish. But neglecting your own wellbeing isn’t noble. It shows up in poor decisions, short tempers, and disengaged teams.

If exhaustion has become your default, it’s a signal to adjust. That might mean experimenting with new habits that protect your energy. It could mean leaning on a mentor, a peer group, or a leadership coach. Or it might be reclaiming something outside work that brings you joy again.

Whatever it is, stop apologising. Self-care is less about comfort and more about capacity, and instead how you stay fit to lead.

If the phrase self-care still makes you wince, fine. But don’t dismiss the practice. The leaders who last aren’t the ones who grind themselves down. They’re the ones who sharpen their saw consistently and quietly so they can keep leading when it matters most.