Frustrated with a colleague - try this...

'MIRRORING'

Mirroring is a simple tool when you might be feeling:

1.        Frustrated at someones' behaviour

2.        Out of ideas how you can get someone else to deliver what you want

3.        Feeling powerless in a situation

On the left-hand side of the paper write down the top three things they do that you are finding a problem.  For instance,

They are not moving quickly enough on this project
They do not understand the market
They do not respond to my concerns

Then flip (mirror) the statement and write it in the first person

They are not moving quickly enough on this project	I am not moving quickly enough on this project
They do not understand the market	I do not understand the market
They do not respect where I am coming from	I do not respect where they are coming from

Then ask yourself: “In what way might some of these be true?”

Are you moving quickly enough, do you truly understand the market, do you respect where they are coming from? You’ll need to swallow a slice of humble pie – it’s so much easier when it is all the other persons’ fault but if it stays that way you are unlikely to be doing all you can to resolve it to your satisfaction.

Self-Awareness

This is a moment not to concretize their shortcomings but to explore where you might be coming up short and find inspiration for actions you can take.  Whilst it is all the other person fault you have no power, no space to manoeuvre in and it’s easy to be blind to what you could be doing instead.

This is a quick tool you can use to open up your resourcefulness and see what other ideas and routes you might take. If you genuinely can’t see where any of this might be true for you then possibly there is nothing else you can do. However, I would suggest you really challenge yourself, or get help to do so, before you come to that conclusion.